Goals Without Deadlines

The title of this post might sound whiny or lame but that’s not it’s intention. It’s not written to elicit sympathy either. It’s simply a way of explaining how I feel physically most days now. People who know about my issues with PNH usually ask how I’m feeling when we talk and usually I respond okay or not bad when the reality is I’m sore or tired or having stomach issues or all of the above. There reaches a point where while I know people care when they ask more often than not the truth would bum them out so my answer? “Not Bad”. And for the record “not bad” doesn’t come anywhere near good, pretty good or okay.  With that being said life since I last posted and long before then has been, “not bad”.  My last post was brief but it was important because it talked about hope. Hope that things were going to start improving for everyone with the availability of vaccines. Since that post I got my second dose of the Moderna vaccine and even though I was pretty sick for about 36 hour...

This rainbow was the afternoon of February 16th the same day I received my first dose of the Covid vaccine. To me it was special because I truly felt like I had received an infusion of hope by getting that first dose and a date in four weeks for the second. Maybe I’ll finally get to travel after my April treatment. 🤞

Personally 2020 started off bad for me but there was no clue how bad it was going to be for our country and the world as a whole. On the 16th of January I had to see an orthopedic doctor for my left knee again. Then on the 31st I started physical therapy for it in order to strengthen it and hopefully prevent any further work on the knee. I only had a total of 20 miles for the month and 20% of that was a race on the 1st.  February was no improvement as I only did 28 total miles again including only one race. I was going to PT every week and rehabbing daily at home. I started seeing an oncologist- hematologist on the 7th with hopes of finding out what was causing my anemia. As part of the diagnosing I had a bone marrow biopsy. The worst thing that happened in February was losing my dog Sassy she just couldn’t go on any longer.  March started off terribly when my youngest brother Rob passed away from cancer. It was actually a blessing but that doesn’t make it easier. Then Covid 1...

So glad to see this year end but before I focus on that I do want to look at some positive things that happened in December. Compared to a normal year there weren’t many but that made them even more important. I mentioned in an earlier post that I decorated earlier this year and I’m keeping them up longer. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t plug my tree in as soon as I got up in the morning and left it on until I went to bed. A lot of wonderful memories in those ornaments. And one that will be a reminder of how bad 2020 sucked.  Brandy and I didn’t get to our Christmas race this year but in an effort to keep it alive we did the course to complete the race virtually. It was also a good chance for me to find a lot of the things from the scavenger hunt that the Smith’s sponsored.  The next day Donna, Brandy and I had a nice fun breakfast at TJ’s they were still doing outdoor dining. It was cold but we had a good time and as always the food was good.  One tradition we got to ke...

It’s been a typical Pacific Northwest winter day cloudy, cool with off and on drizzle. Nice after almost steady rain for 24 hours. I thought it would be a perfect time to make one of the soups Stacie had sent me earlier this year as a gift. I knew I had already purchased the ingredients I needed to go with the dry soup mix and since I had my big crockpot I decided to slow cook it. I was surprised that it called for so much liquid and the crockpot was filled to the brim.  While it cooked I was finishing a good read that the kids sent me for Christmas. I’ve got a box of books almost ready to send them and wanted to include it in the box. So I sat and read and enjoyed the smell from the soup cooking.  Even though I was almost finished with the book I decided to eat before I finished it. I looked for my pot holders but couldn’t find them. (I remember where they are now🙄). So I figured I’d just use a dish towel to take the crock out and carry it to the stove. I didn’t want to dish...

I’m not proud of the title of this post but nothing sums up my feelings about today better than that. This isn’t going to be a catch up post or a year end wrap up post, that’ll happen later, this is a post that I’m writing to tell 2020 Fuck You and to describe my morning on December 27th when it’s barely past noon! 😳  I got up at my dogs command as usual and started a cup of coffee in the Keurig. Fortunately I keep the reservoir filled because when I turned on the water to take my first round of morning pills there was no water. I just figured it was frozen and would thaw in a while so I just got one of my Nalgene bottles out of the fridge and took my pills.  Well of course it wasn’t that simple, it’s 2020 after all. One of the horses is a pain in the ass who constantly kicks the wall at the front of her stall. Long story short, she broke the waterline running in front of her stall which also happens to be right where the main line for the barn comes in. It also is the line t...

The reason the title of this post is a question is because I’m not even sure what catching up means in these crazy times. There’s not much to “catch up” on in the year 2020 when I feel like I’m being kept prisoner by dual jailers, Covid 19 and my own health issue PNH! 😳 This picture of my dog Charlie is a good metaphor for how my life has been going. 😊 I ended my last post with “what’s next?” because we’re living in such uncertain times. I said first the election and thank God Trump was voted out of office. I honestly don’t think our democratic way of life would have survived another year under that fool. I honestly believe that he is certifiably mentally ill.  With the big holidays that I have always looked forward to coming up I knew I needed an attitude adjustment and need to go back to finding positive things. I looked harder for beauty in nature and even in a PNW wet period it’s still there.  I talked with my sister and made sure we planned a Thanksgiving dinner this ye...